Today, while driving my kids to school, the fuel light went on. Now, really, I'm the kind of person who fills the tank when it's 1/8 full. I like to know that I can make it to my favorite gas station; I even have a favorite pump. Is that so weird? Maybe.
Having to stop at a new, unknown gas station not only cost me time, but it took some mental energy that I did not have.
What's the big deal? My kids are in school, my work is under control, the refrigerator is full. What could I possibly have to not only worry about, but think about even.
Well, it was hot. And it was going to get hotter. That means, I had to walk both of my big brown dogs together, at the same time, in tandem, side-by-side. No matter how you describe it, I could only imagine mayhem. Think whirling dervish on the end of a leash. Now, multiply that by 2.
I have been walking them separately for many reasons:
1) they deserve some time apart (that puppy energy will get on anyone's nerves).
2) they're both more than 80 pounds - I really see no reason to get pulled down the sidewalk by 160 pounds of dog muscle.
3) they want their quality time with mom. Yeah, right. When my boys were young, I tried to find snippets of time to spend with each of them separately. Naps helped. But it was really impossible. Same with dogs. And they're dogs. Hello - not humans, not such needy beings. Well actually, they do have much better days when I can spend some time training and walking and paying attention separately. Can you say 'spoiled'? Can you say 'less destruction to my couch'?
So I leashed them both up. Chief spent a little time on a tie down because of his over excitement at the prospect of actually walking out the front door (it happens every day, twice a day. Should he really be that surprised?). Charlie followed me around as I prepared. He kept his eyes on me, but made sure not to get in my way. At every appropriate moment, his butt hit the floor in anticipation of a treat.
They waited nicely at the front door. They whimpered. I opened the door, just a crack to survey the sidewalk. Chief barked. Back on the tie-down. Charlie gave him such a dirty look - what I'd expect from a school kid whose friend blurted out the answer without being called on. Ok, calm, quiet, unhooked from the tie-down. I opened the door again, all was quiet on both sides. We proceeded off of the porch, onto the sidewalk.
This sounds like a military operation. And I feel like it is. I want my dogs to have only success, I want to set it up so that I'm there to intervene and make it all better.
Digression: I got a call from the principal at the boys' school today. She's pretty on top of things at school. This year, they're doing something different at lunchtime. Gordon hates it. I emailed his teacher about it. She encouraged me to have him talk to her, but she passed this all on to the principal. Totally appropriate. We all agreed that this is the perfect situation to let the kids advocate for themselves. No one is getting bullied or hurt. The kids just want something different. They can take their concerns to their teacher and principal. The sticky situation is that the teacher is new to them, so they don't feel so comfortable approaching her. But this is what growing up is all about - taking a chance, speaking up, being different and getting heard.
Back to the dogs: How could I set it up so that they both got a good walk but that they both had success? Success for Charlie would be to walk for an hour without barking/growling/snarling at another dog. Success for Chief would be to walk for an hour without pulling my shoulder out of its socket. Both of these successes requires that I walk them separately.
What a challenge! So I decided that they'd both walk on either side of me. Which meant that I would hold one leash in each hand. And last time I looked, I only had 2 hands which meant that there would be no opportunity for me to reward them with treats.
Was I crazy?
Much like I sent my son off to school this morning, trusting that he'd talk with his teacher, maybe even the principal about his concerns and end up with a successful beginning of a dialogue, I walked confidently down the street with my 2 big brown dogs by my side.
Charlie stayed in a heel with no prompting from me. Chief took a few blocks to get with the program, but he finally realized that he didn't have a choice. The 3 of us walked for 20 minutes like this, then found a park and took a sniff break (the dogs, not me...). Then we repeated the exercise until we found another park. It was awesome! A little nerve-wracking for me since I was on the look-out for other dogs or potential triggers for Charlie. But I was amazed at how well it went.
We made it home in one piece, my shoulder was not pulled out of whack, both dogs were exhausted. Isn't that the point?
And when I picked Gordon up from school, he reported that he'd talked with his teacher and they were already working on a solution. But he said I didn't need the details since he had it all under control.
Trust - it's more powerful than you think.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Dog days
Who am I kidding - most of my days are dog days. Not in the dictionary sense of the term: hot weather, lazy days. But really, my days are filled with dog stuff. Chief is 8-ish months old; Charlie is almost 4 years old. One would think that things were settled at my house. Not so much.
I'm walking them separately now since they're both so big and they really deserve time apart. But that means 2 hours a day of dog-walking. That's a bunch of time, especially since school has started for my kids and my schedule essentially revolves around their school and sports schedule. My work, fortunately, fits in around all of this.
And now that I've started giving them each their own walk, I can't imagine going back to walking them together. Someday. Maybe.
Chief is still a puppy. It takes him about the first 15 minutes of a walk to get his crazies out. He sniffs everything, zig-zagging along the sidewalk, usually behind me. Then he settles in to walk beside me (in order to get those treats) or calms down enough for me to enjoy the scenery. I'm trying to focus on doing a 'heel' with him for several blocks during our one hour walk. That seems to be fine with him.
Charlie has been a challenge. We adopted him at 5 months old to keep our Malamute company. We'd just lost our older dog and the whole family was out of sorts. Charlie did well, as long as Floyd was around. But once Floyd was too old for long walks, Charlie started to react to every dog he saw. I didn't have a clue about what was happening. In hindsight, I believe that Charlie didn't trust me to take care of him the way Floyd had. He was right. I wanted Charlie to meet other dogs, to have some doggie social life.
After 6 months of tips and training at UnLeashed, I now have a better understanding of dog behavior, especially with my own dog. Charlie would be happy to never meet another dog again, as long as he lived. (And here I was trying to get him to 'like' every dog he met.) So we have definite routines for Charlie. He only goes to the dog park when there are very few dogs there. And he has to have a job to do - chase his ball! And he will be removed if he gets tense and stiff and territorial about the place. When we walk, we will always cross the street when we see another dog. We will do some 'sit' 'wait' 'down' when a person is walking by. I have also promised that he will never meet another dog on leash, ever again, never ever ever.
At first these things seemed like a lot of work. I wished that I owned an easy dog. But now that I have the hang of it, I realize that I've learned so much. And my relationship with Charlie has deepened. He and I have connected in a way that's different from other dogs I've known. We're a team.
When we adopted him, I had no idea how this would all play out. I had no idea that I would be immersed in dog stuff to the extent that I am. I'm no expert, but I'm more aware of dog behavior so that I can give my adopted dog the kind of life he deserves.
I'm walking them separately now since they're both so big and they really deserve time apart. But that means 2 hours a day of dog-walking. That's a bunch of time, especially since school has started for my kids and my schedule essentially revolves around their school and sports schedule. My work, fortunately, fits in around all of this.
And now that I've started giving them each their own walk, I can't imagine going back to walking them together. Someday. Maybe.
Chief is still a puppy. It takes him about the first 15 minutes of a walk to get his crazies out. He sniffs everything, zig-zagging along the sidewalk, usually behind me. Then he settles in to walk beside me (in order to get those treats) or calms down enough for me to enjoy the scenery. I'm trying to focus on doing a 'heel' with him for several blocks during our one hour walk. That seems to be fine with him.
Charlie has been a challenge. We adopted him at 5 months old to keep our Malamute company. We'd just lost our older dog and the whole family was out of sorts. Charlie did well, as long as Floyd was around. But once Floyd was too old for long walks, Charlie started to react to every dog he saw. I didn't have a clue about what was happening. In hindsight, I believe that Charlie didn't trust me to take care of him the way Floyd had. He was right. I wanted Charlie to meet other dogs, to have some doggie social life.
After 6 months of tips and training at UnLeashed, I now have a better understanding of dog behavior, especially with my own dog. Charlie would be happy to never meet another dog again, as long as he lived. (And here I was trying to get him to 'like' every dog he met.) So we have definite routines for Charlie. He only goes to the dog park when there are very few dogs there. And he has to have a job to do - chase his ball! And he will be removed if he gets tense and stiff and territorial about the place. When we walk, we will always cross the street when we see another dog. We will do some 'sit' 'wait' 'down' when a person is walking by. I have also promised that he will never meet another dog on leash, ever again, never ever ever.
At first these things seemed like a lot of work. I wished that I owned an easy dog. But now that I have the hang of it, I realize that I've learned so much. And my relationship with Charlie has deepened. He and I have connected in a way that's different from other dogs I've known. We're a team.
When we adopted him, I had no idea how this would all play out. I had no idea that I would be immersed in dog stuff to the extent that I am. I'm no expert, but I'm more aware of dog behavior so that I can give my adopted dog the kind of life he deserves.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Nose work
Dogs' noses are so much more sensitive and capable than ours. I'm sure we can all recount a story to illustrate our pooch's incredible (to us) ability to smell a steak on the grill from miles away. I'll confess, there are times when I'd just like a little spoonful of peanut butter to get me through the morning. I creep into the kitchen, quietly open the frig, remove that precious jar. No matter how quiet I am about opening the lid, I know I'll have 2 begging dogs by my side in no time. They do not respond the same way to lettuce. Not that I test them with lettuce too often...
Nose Work is a relatively new sport for dogs and handlers, based on the law enforcement world's dogs sniffing out drugs and other contraband. At their best, these companion dogs sniff out tins of scent like birch in a room or field.
I participated in a Nose Work workshop with Charlie a few weeks ago. It was perfect for him. Even tho he's fine in a training class and he'll tolerate leashed dogs on the other side of the street, he's much happier without lots of other dogs around. With Nose Work, each dog does his run alone! In the beginning, we used lots of different cardboard boxes. The dog's handler holds the dog on one end of the row. The 'hider' shows the dog a closed pouch full of really smelly treats, leaving one treat on the outside. The hider then pretends to place the pouch in some of the boxes finally hiding it in one. Depending on the dog's experience with the exercise, the hider even tries to trick the dog. Then the handler lets the dog go and the dog much sniff out the treats.
It might sound simple. But the way scent travels on air currents, actually makes it a challenge for the dogs. First time out, the dog will usually investigate the last box that the hider touched. Then the dog might make a big circuit around the room. But eventually, the dog will get to work and look in each box for the treats. When they finally find it, they're self-rewarded with the treat on top of the pouch. Then the handler opens the pouch and feeds more treats from the pouch.
This is a very good exercise for dogs. It really works their brains and their natural instincts to search, based on scent. It's also pretty cool to watch different dogs go to work. And sometimes the air currents mess with the scent and send the dogs searching high when the treat is low.
Charlie and I have had a good time with this at home. It's cheap and easy (think rainy days) and make the dog work a little.
So I wondered what it would be like to give some Animal Shelter dogs a chance to try. Charlie at UnLeashed helped me work 3 dogs at the Petaluma Animal Shelter.
Scout, a terrier mix was all over us at first, pushing at our hands, jumping, trying every way to get some human attention. But once he picked up the scent and got his first reward, there was nothing we could do to trick him. On his 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th runs, he was all business, waiting patiently for us to say 'go'. Then he followed his nose straight to the treat pouch! It was so fun to watch his brain engage.
Nikita, a deaf Akita was our next participant. Have you ever worked with a deaf dog? She knows some hand commands, but she's had a rough time. Charlie and I continued to speak to her because we knew that our body language and face would convey a message. Nikita caught on quickly. She tended to circle the room a few times, catching the scent high and then following it back low to the box. She was also determined to stay in that room! She loved this game and it was hard to make her stop playing.
With Ziva, a 14 week old pitt/rottie mix, I learned the most. At first, she had no interest in the boxes. She just wanted to stay near the people and lap up attention. We ignored her (almost impossible with this adorable pup!). Then she'd pick up a scent, follow it for awhile, get distracted, walk right by the treat. But when she picked up the scent and was close, she'd whip her head around and follow it right to the box and the reward. I could almost see the path that the scent was taking, just by watching her progress.
We have a pretty awesome animal shelter in Petaluma. Not only do they care deeply for every animal they help, but they welcome us all to be a part of it. I can only hope that the lives of 3 dogs were enriched by our little games. I'll go back again next week to play!
Nose Work is a relatively new sport for dogs and handlers, based on the law enforcement world's dogs sniffing out drugs and other contraband. At their best, these companion dogs sniff out tins of scent like birch in a room or field.
I participated in a Nose Work workshop with Charlie a few weeks ago. It was perfect for him. Even tho he's fine in a training class and he'll tolerate leashed dogs on the other side of the street, he's much happier without lots of other dogs around. With Nose Work, each dog does his run alone! In the beginning, we used lots of different cardboard boxes. The dog's handler holds the dog on one end of the row. The 'hider' shows the dog a closed pouch full of really smelly treats, leaving one treat on the outside. The hider then pretends to place the pouch in some of the boxes finally hiding it in one. Depending on the dog's experience with the exercise, the hider even tries to trick the dog. Then the handler lets the dog go and the dog much sniff out the treats.
It might sound simple. But the way scent travels on air currents, actually makes it a challenge for the dogs. First time out, the dog will usually investigate the last box that the hider touched. Then the dog might make a big circuit around the room. But eventually, the dog will get to work and look in each box for the treats. When they finally find it, they're self-rewarded with the treat on top of the pouch. Then the handler opens the pouch and feeds more treats from the pouch.
This is a very good exercise for dogs. It really works their brains and their natural instincts to search, based on scent. It's also pretty cool to watch different dogs go to work. And sometimes the air currents mess with the scent and send the dogs searching high when the treat is low.
Charlie and I have had a good time with this at home. It's cheap and easy (think rainy days) and make the dog work a little.
So I wondered what it would be like to give some Animal Shelter dogs a chance to try. Charlie at UnLeashed helped me work 3 dogs at the Petaluma Animal Shelter.
Scout, a terrier mix was all over us at first, pushing at our hands, jumping, trying every way to get some human attention. But once he picked up the scent and got his first reward, there was nothing we could do to trick him. On his 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th runs, he was all business, waiting patiently for us to say 'go'. Then he followed his nose straight to the treat pouch! It was so fun to watch his brain engage.
Nikita, a deaf Akita was our next participant. Have you ever worked with a deaf dog? She knows some hand commands, but she's had a rough time. Charlie and I continued to speak to her because we knew that our body language and face would convey a message. Nikita caught on quickly. She tended to circle the room a few times, catching the scent high and then following it back low to the box. She was also determined to stay in that room! She loved this game and it was hard to make her stop playing.
With Ziva, a 14 week old pitt/rottie mix, I learned the most. At first, she had no interest in the boxes. She just wanted to stay near the people and lap up attention. We ignored her (almost impossible with this adorable pup!). Then she'd pick up a scent, follow it for awhile, get distracted, walk right by the treat. But when she picked up the scent and was close, she'd whip her head around and follow it right to the box and the reward. I could almost see the path that the scent was taking, just by watching her progress.
We have a pretty awesome animal shelter in Petaluma. Not only do they care deeply for every animal they help, but they welcome us all to be a part of it. I can only hope that the lives of 3 dogs were enriched by our little games. I'll go back again next week to play!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
What the heck?
Charlie had an interesting day. I took him and Chief to the dog park this morning. I usually don't go in the morning. I'm not really a morning person and without a few cups of coffee, I can't make polite conversation. But I was tired this morning, so I didn't want to walk.
Charlie and Chief chased the ball. Chief played with another dog. All seemed fine. Until Charlie spotted a Boxer on leash, outside of the park with his owner riding a bike. I really pay attention to Charlie - he's sensitive and reactive. But he presents these attributes by making the first strike: lunging (on leash) and barking. When Charlie perks up his enormous ears, I make him focus on me. He can hear a dog coming a mile away. But there are just some dogs that he cannot trust me to protect him from. Boxers are one of those breeds.
He's been attacked a few times by Boxers and bully breeds. I think he remembers this.
So he saw that dog, who he's seen before. We've met the dog/owner-on-bike pair on the sidewalk before. They ride by fast, but it's still a surprise when they vacate the sidewalk to let us walk by.
Charlie ran out of the park, chasing the pair. I called his name. He looked at me. He kept running with hackles raised. Chief followed him. My heart was pounding (does that count for a cardio workout?), but there was no way I could catch them. In 2 seconds, they were both back in the park. There had been no growling, snarling confrontation. Charlie came right over to me. I made him do some sits, downs and finally a down stay. He focused his eyes on mine for 2 minutes. That's a long time.
While he was staring at me, dog and biking owner rode by the other side of the park. Charlie stayed right in front of me, staring, focusing on me. Incident over?
I threw the ball a bit more for Charlie, but then a different Boxer came into the park. What the heck? I grabbed Charlie's collar loosely, but kept him by my side. This Boxer was young, played with Chief for a bit and the other dogs. When he got near Charlie, Charlie would growl. I decided that we needed to leave the park. But as I was getting the leash on Charlie, the Boxer's owner struck up a conversation with me. I tried to explain that Charlie had been attacked by other Boxers. He was incensed that 'his breed' could be aggressive. He kept telling his dog to stay away from my 'mean dog'. But really, he didn't have control over his dog who was interested in Charlie and kept approaching him.
I don't blame the owner or the dog. Dog parks are off-leash heaven. His dog was running and playing. My dog just didn't particularly like that behavior from that particular dog. And I was doing the responsible thing by leaving the park.
But why do I feel like the pariah? Every other dog owner who I'd been chatting with, moved away from me as soon as this interaction took place. They all started making comments about my dog. I knew my dog well enough to avoid any kind of incident. I was removing my dog from the situation.
Should I never take Charlie to the dog park again?
Tonight, I walked both of my dogs, separately. (That's 2 hours of walking!) Charlie was awesome. He stayed by my side when I asked him to. He calmly walked by other dogs on leash. He looked to me for all of his cues.
Everyone has their own perspective on dog behavior and what it means. We humans tend to anthropomorphise. What's really going on? Maybe my dog just doesn't like that other dog. And maybe he doesn't feel the need to hide his feelings.
I just have to stop caring about what other people think about me, my dogs, and my perspective on dogs in general.
And I thought if I owned dogs I wouldn't need a therapist.
Charlie and Chief chased the ball. Chief played with another dog. All seemed fine. Until Charlie spotted a Boxer on leash, outside of the park with his owner riding a bike. I really pay attention to Charlie - he's sensitive and reactive. But he presents these attributes by making the first strike: lunging (on leash) and barking. When Charlie perks up his enormous ears, I make him focus on me. He can hear a dog coming a mile away. But there are just some dogs that he cannot trust me to protect him from. Boxers are one of those breeds.
He's been attacked a few times by Boxers and bully breeds. I think he remembers this.
So he saw that dog, who he's seen before. We've met the dog/owner-on-bike pair on the sidewalk before. They ride by fast, but it's still a surprise when they vacate the sidewalk to let us walk by.
Charlie ran out of the park, chasing the pair. I called his name. He looked at me. He kept running with hackles raised. Chief followed him. My heart was pounding (does that count for a cardio workout?), but there was no way I could catch them. In 2 seconds, they were both back in the park. There had been no growling, snarling confrontation. Charlie came right over to me. I made him do some sits, downs and finally a down stay. He focused his eyes on mine for 2 minutes. That's a long time.
While he was staring at me, dog and biking owner rode by the other side of the park. Charlie stayed right in front of me, staring, focusing on me. Incident over?
I threw the ball a bit more for Charlie, but then a different Boxer came into the park. What the heck? I grabbed Charlie's collar loosely, but kept him by my side. This Boxer was young, played with Chief for a bit and the other dogs. When he got near Charlie, Charlie would growl. I decided that we needed to leave the park. But as I was getting the leash on Charlie, the Boxer's owner struck up a conversation with me. I tried to explain that Charlie had been attacked by other Boxers. He was incensed that 'his breed' could be aggressive. He kept telling his dog to stay away from my 'mean dog'. But really, he didn't have control over his dog who was interested in Charlie and kept approaching him.
I don't blame the owner or the dog. Dog parks are off-leash heaven. His dog was running and playing. My dog just didn't particularly like that behavior from that particular dog. And I was doing the responsible thing by leaving the park.
But why do I feel like the pariah? Every other dog owner who I'd been chatting with, moved away from me as soon as this interaction took place. They all started making comments about my dog. I knew my dog well enough to avoid any kind of incident. I was removing my dog from the situation.
Should I never take Charlie to the dog park again?
Tonight, I walked both of my dogs, separately. (That's 2 hours of walking!) Charlie was awesome. He stayed by my side when I asked him to. He calmly walked by other dogs on leash. He looked to me for all of his cues.
Everyone has their own perspective on dog behavior and what it means. We humans tend to anthropomorphise. What's really going on? Maybe my dog just doesn't like that other dog. And maybe he doesn't feel the need to hide his feelings.
I just have to stop caring about what other people think about me, my dogs, and my perspective on dogs in general.
And I thought if I owned dogs I wouldn't need a therapist.
Foster Kittens!
I picked up 3 foster kittens from the animal shelter yesterday. They're black and white females, soft and a little shy. They got settled in to their giant crate last night, complete with hammock, litter box, food and toys. Today, Gordon and I let them roam around the laundry room and play.
I love to watch kittens playing! They are so intent on the string or ball or whatever. They jump sideways and forget that anything else exists in the world.
And I love to hear my son cackle with joy as he reports the antics of these little creatures.
Gordon and I are having an interesting summer. He's 10, but thinks he's 15. He craves independence, but forgets to brush his teeth. His favorite expressions seem to be centered around challenging me, "But mom..." "Don't say no until you hear the whole thing" "Why" "Why" "Why".
I'm letting go as much as I can, but I resist. How do I stay connected with my boys as they become young men? Do I learn about their passions (sports and video games), or do I force them to embrace mine (animals and knitting)?
As with so many things, I guess it's somewhere in the middle. These foster kittens help.
I love to watch kittens playing! They are so intent on the string or ball or whatever. They jump sideways and forget that anything else exists in the world.
And I love to hear my son cackle with joy as he reports the antics of these little creatures.
Gordon and I are having an interesting summer. He's 10, but thinks he's 15. He craves independence, but forgets to brush his teeth. His favorite expressions seem to be centered around challenging me, "But mom..." "Don't say no until you hear the whole thing" "Why" "Why" "Why".
I'm letting go as much as I can, but I resist. How do I stay connected with my boys as they become young men? Do I learn about their passions (sports and video games), or do I force them to embrace mine (animals and knitting)?
As with so many things, I guess it's somewhere in the middle. These foster kittens help.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
What is play?
I spent my weekend at a dog seminar, surrounded by humans who love, live, breathe dogs. It was awesome!
Sue Sternberg talked to us for 2 days about dog to dog aggression and dog park behavior. Not a coincidence. Sue is very entertaining, relying on video clips to support her theories. But the piece that I liked the most is that she continues to ask questions. She's been involved in the dog world for 25 - 30 years and is still asking questions. That makes sense to me. It doesn't matter how much or how little experience you have, you should always be asking questions.
Sue's latest question is: What is play?
Does that not seem obvious? Haven't we all figured that one out by now? Well, actually, I don't think we have. Sure, there are plenty of definitions:
engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose
amuse oneself by engaging in imaginative pretense
play, by definition, is fun. When play stops being fun it stops being play.
We could list definitions forever. But could we recognize play when we see it?
I remember as a kid, my uncle was the 'funnest' guy in the world. He played with all of us and everyone had fun. Except for me. He scared me. He played hard. He played on the edge. And I didn't like it. I was not having fun. So was it still play?
We take our dogs to the dog park so that they can play with other dogs. Are they all having fun? Is the dog who is being chased by 3 other dogs, really enjoying it? We need to read the body language.
And over time, do our dogs learn to tolerate 'play' and maybe even change who they are because we demand that they 'play'?
So many questions.
We adopted Charlie when he was 5 months old. One of our dogs had died a few weeks before and Floyd, our malamute really needed to live with another dog. (Red flag: should you really get a dog to keep your other dog company????) Things were great until Floyd was too old to go on walks. Looking back, this was a turning point; but at the time, I did not have a clue. Charlie and I would walk every day and he got worse and worse on the leash.
What does that mean? He lunged and barked at other dogs that we'd see along the way. It started with just one dog, then grew to most dogs. He was ok at the dog park as long as he chased his ball. Looking back, I think he missed Floyd's protection; his cues about how Charlie was supposed to act on leash. And I think Charlie didn't trust me to take care of him without Floyd.
So I got help. UnLeashed - an incredible training group, diagnosed what I thought of as aggression and helped me get Charlie back on track.
Basically, Charlie is a wimp and would be happy to never meet another dog ever again as long as he lives. But he has to walk and he does go to the dog park (maybe not for long...), so he needs some options. I've built a relationship with him so that he can focus on me rather than other dogs on the street. It's going very well.
But what is this all about? Why do we ask our dogs to meet strange dogs in the dog park and "play" with them? Would we ask that of our children? Of ourselves?
Why do we have dogs?
Sue Sternberg talked to us for 2 days about dog to dog aggression and dog park behavior. Not a coincidence. Sue is very entertaining, relying on video clips to support her theories. But the piece that I liked the most is that she continues to ask questions. She's been involved in the dog world for 25 - 30 years and is still asking questions. That makes sense to me. It doesn't matter how much or how little experience you have, you should always be asking questions.
Sue's latest question is: What is play?
Does that not seem obvious? Haven't we all figured that one out by now? Well, actually, I don't think we have. Sure, there are plenty of definitions:
engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose
amuse oneself by engaging in imaginative pretense
play, by definition, is fun. When play stops being fun it stops being play.
We could list definitions forever. But could we recognize play when we see it?
I remember as a kid, my uncle was the 'funnest' guy in the world. He played with all of us and everyone had fun. Except for me. He scared me. He played hard. He played on the edge. And I didn't like it. I was not having fun. So was it still play?
We take our dogs to the dog park so that they can play with other dogs. Are they all having fun? Is the dog who is being chased by 3 other dogs, really enjoying it? We need to read the body language.
And over time, do our dogs learn to tolerate 'play' and maybe even change who they are because we demand that they 'play'?
So many questions.
We adopted Charlie when he was 5 months old. One of our dogs had died a few weeks before and Floyd, our malamute really needed to live with another dog. (Red flag: should you really get a dog to keep your other dog company????) Things were great until Floyd was too old to go on walks. Looking back, this was a turning point; but at the time, I did not have a clue. Charlie and I would walk every day and he got worse and worse on the leash.
What does that mean? He lunged and barked at other dogs that we'd see along the way. It started with just one dog, then grew to most dogs. He was ok at the dog park as long as he chased his ball. Looking back, I think he missed Floyd's protection; his cues about how Charlie was supposed to act on leash. And I think Charlie didn't trust me to take care of him without Floyd.
So I got help. UnLeashed - an incredible training group, diagnosed what I thought of as aggression and helped me get Charlie back on track.
Basically, Charlie is a wimp and would be happy to never meet another dog ever again as long as he lives. But he has to walk and he does go to the dog park (maybe not for long...), so he needs some options. I've built a relationship with him so that he can focus on me rather than other dogs on the street. It's going very well.
But what is this all about? Why do we ask our dogs to meet strange dogs in the dog park and "play" with them? Would we ask that of our children? Of ourselves?
Why do we have dogs?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
It would be good to be a dog
My dad used to say that if reincarnation actually existed, he'd want to come back as my grandma's cat. That cat had the life - fresh fish and liver poached to perfection twice a day, a velvet cushion to sleep on, my grandma doting on her.
But sometimes, I think it would be good to be a dog.
In the years since my boys have needed less attention from me, I've transferred that attention to the dogs. My dogs haven't reached the cushy status of my grandma's cat, but they do have a pretty good life.
Someone feeds them twice a day. Just think about that! They never need to plan a menu or think about balanced meals or nutrition. The food just appears for them. I could live with that.
They get out of the house every day for a new adventure. Sometimes, they go to the beach, sometimes to the park, sometimes for a walk (with varied routes), sometimes to training class. Someone else is thinking about their exercise needs and making exercise fun and exciting. I could live with that.
They have plenty of toys. Oh, the toys they have. They can choose any toy from the basket. Chief even steals toys from the neighbor dog. At first I thought my husband was buying the dogs toys - so thoughtful. But then when the neighbor kid noticed that we had all of their toys, I figured it out and spied on the dogs. The neighbor dog brings a toy to the wire fence. Chief smiles, grabs and runs. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even say thank you. I could live with this - my neighbors have better stuff than I do!
I dredged up something from my parenting past the other day. Chief was chewing on his favorite squeaky toy at 6am. This is no ordinary squeaky toy; it's indestructible, which means he can't tear it apart to get the squeaker. So it squeaks and squeaks and squeaks. Before 2 cups of coffee, it is unbearable. Well, I took it away. It now lives on top of the piano and he only gets it after performing some phenomenal trick and only after 10am. And then for a limited time.... (not sure I could live with someone controlling my toys).
The dogs are expected to sleep a lot during the day. Really, after a walk and some food, my dogs need to lie around and relax. I might throw some training sessions into their day or give them a bone to chew. But I do expect a good amount of napping. I could definitely live with this requirement.
Today, I witnessed some moments of pure dog pleasure. I was trying to balance taking the dogs to a training class with their need to go for a walk. I thought that I'd take them for a short walk so that they wouldn't be too tired for training. But if we walked through the park, they could get a good off-leash run and do their business. As we approached the park, I noticed a baseball game convening. But they weren't even ready to warm up and there were some dogs off-leash on the opposite end. I let my dogs go. They ran and played a little. I leashed Charlie, ready to resume our walk through the neighborhood. As I turned to grab Chief (he's only 7 months old...), a swallow caught his eye.
Chief is part German short-haired pointer and part lab or hound. He loves birds. Not to watch or identify or add to his life list. But to chase. The swallows at the park are very nice. They tag team so that he's chasing one, then another, then the first. They never leave the fenced area. Chief gets a great work out.
But there were baseball players ready to start. Chief didn't seem to notice. Or hear me calling him. He may be young, but he has a pretty good recall, especially because he knows that whenever he shows up in front of me with his butt planted on the ground, he will definitely get a treat. But that swallow was just too enticing. So I called him and chased him (stupid human). I threw a handful treats in his face. Nothing deterred him. Finally, after I entertained the baseball team and fans, Chief flopped to the ground, exhausted. But the smile on his face told me that he'd had the time of his life. He was as happy as a kid in a candy store.
I could live with that.
But sometimes, I think it would be good to be a dog.
In the years since my boys have needed less attention from me, I've transferred that attention to the dogs. My dogs haven't reached the cushy status of my grandma's cat, but they do have a pretty good life.
Someone feeds them twice a day. Just think about that! They never need to plan a menu or think about balanced meals or nutrition. The food just appears for them. I could live with that.
They get out of the house every day for a new adventure. Sometimes, they go to the beach, sometimes to the park, sometimes for a walk (with varied routes), sometimes to training class. Someone else is thinking about their exercise needs and making exercise fun and exciting. I could live with that.
They have plenty of toys. Oh, the toys they have. They can choose any toy from the basket. Chief even steals toys from the neighbor dog. At first I thought my husband was buying the dogs toys - so thoughtful. But then when the neighbor kid noticed that we had all of their toys, I figured it out and spied on the dogs. The neighbor dog brings a toy to the wire fence. Chief smiles, grabs and runs. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even say thank you. I could live with this - my neighbors have better stuff than I do!I dredged up something from my parenting past the other day. Chief was chewing on his favorite squeaky toy at 6am. This is no ordinary squeaky toy; it's indestructible, which means he can't tear it apart to get the squeaker. So it squeaks and squeaks and squeaks. Before 2 cups of coffee, it is unbearable. Well, I took it away. It now lives on top of the piano and he only gets it after performing some phenomenal trick and only after 10am. And then for a limited time.... (not sure I could live with someone controlling my toys).
The dogs are expected to sleep a lot during the day. Really, after a walk and some food, my dogs need to lie around and relax. I might throw some training sessions into their day or give them a bone to chew. But I do expect a good amount of napping. I could definitely live with this requirement.
Today, I witnessed some moments of pure dog pleasure. I was trying to balance taking the dogs to a training class with their need to go for a walk. I thought that I'd take them for a short walk so that they wouldn't be too tired for training. But if we walked through the park, they could get a good off-leash run and do their business. As we approached the park, I noticed a baseball game convening. But they weren't even ready to warm up and there were some dogs off-leash on the opposite end. I let my dogs go. They ran and played a little. I leashed Charlie, ready to resume our walk through the neighborhood. As I turned to grab Chief (he's only 7 months old...), a swallow caught his eye.
Chief is part German short-haired pointer and part lab or hound. He loves birds. Not to watch or identify or add to his life list. But to chase. The swallows at the park are very nice. They tag team so that he's chasing one, then another, then the first. They never leave the fenced area. Chief gets a great work out.
But there were baseball players ready to start. Chief didn't seem to notice. Or hear me calling him. He may be young, but he has a pretty good recall, especially because he knows that whenever he shows up in front of me with his butt planted on the ground, he will definitely get a treat. But that swallow was just too enticing. So I called him and chased him (stupid human). I threw a handful treats in his face. Nothing deterred him. Finally, after I entertained the baseball team and fans, Chief flopped to the ground, exhausted. But the smile on his face told me that he'd had the time of his life. He was as happy as a kid in a candy store.
I could live with that.
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